


Remember, I Love You

by Lovelyjea



Series: I Only Want You [1]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: I promise its still sweet, Jae is so in love, M/M, Maybe a tinsy winsy angsty, Suicide Attempt, Wonpil has depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-19 21:16:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15518745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovelyjea/pseuds/Lovelyjea
Summary: Wonpil just want to leave this world but Jae will never let him go





	Remember, I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> My brain keeps telling me to write this.. Arghhh..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Let me go! I SAID LET ME GO!” Wonpil’s voice echoed the silence of the entire house.

He is enraged. With all the strength he have in his hand. His arms. His body. He _carefully_ pushed Jae who’s hugging him _tightly_ from behind, begging him to stop but Wonpil begs him to let go.

 

Jae groans.

 

With all his strength he resisted on Wonpil’s force. Jae’s other arm is wrapped around Wonpil’s body while the other hand is holding the fist that is clenching a small knife.

Wonpil still attempts for several times to push the taller however Jae is stronger than him, he can’t defeat him no matter how hard he try.

Wonpil can’t do anything but sob. All of his energy is drained now. He stopped resisting. He’s tired, so goddamned tired. He just want to leave this world but why? Why does this person keeps on intervening his life? He doesn’t need him (or that’s what he thought), he doesn’t even need himself, no one does so why? Why does he care so much?

 

_What does he want?_

 

Jae is tired too, he is hurt and tired. He doesn’t know why he is still doing this. They have been doing the same routine for a month already but he can’t help it, he can’t leave him alone and he don’t want to leave him alone. He can’t.

 

_I can’t_

 

His tears welled as he listen to Wonpil’s sobs. He doesn’t let him go, he can’t let him go. Wonpil continues to sob as his arms starts to relax. He gradually put his own arms to rest. His fist slowly unclenched and the small knife fell from his hand. Jae quickly kicked the knife away from them without letting Wonpil go from his arms. Jae felt a little better. His forced embrace became a warm hug. Wonpil begins to lose all of the strength on his legs, he slowly sat down on the floor but the taller is still holding on to him, falling with him.

 

 

They remained sitting on the floor for a few more minutes. Silence filled the house. Jae leaned his forehead on the back of Wonpil’s head. He could smell his hair, that distinct and sweet scent. He closed his eyes. Reminding himself of the good old days. Wonpil observed the arms of the taller that has been holding on to his waist for quite some time now. Without thinking too much Wonpil took Jae’s hand and held it on his own. He is not usually like this, he gets so shy when it comes to Jae because he knows how much he likes him but right now his head is clouded with empty thoughts. Maybe he just want to do whatever he wants. He touched it, he delicately held the taller’s milky hand and continued staring at it.

 

“You’re hands are soft” Jae lazily smiled on the first proper sentence of the shorter. He opened his eyes, leaning his head on the Wonpil’s shoulder making his lips very close, almost touching the shorter’s neck. 

“You can touch it as long as you want” His hot breathes touched the shorter’s neck. Jae intertwined their fingers. 

A tear fell down on the Wonpil’s shoulder. Wonpil’s free hand touched the back of the head of Jae. Trying to comfort him.

“Are you crying?” Wonpil sounds like spring, it sounds so him. His concern and sweet voice. He missed it. Wonpil used to be like that. The kind of person who would assure you that he won’t leave even if you feel like the world is drifting apart, even if you don’t say anything he will always wait for you, patiently. He will wait for the right timing until you tell your story or even if you don’t he will stay by your side. He was always that kind of person but what happened?

 

_What happened to you Wonpil? Why can’t you tell me? Please... tell me.._

 

Jae wiped his own tears on Wonpil’s shirt. “I’m just... happy” 

“Why?” 

“Because you’re talking to me”

“When did I stopped talking to you?” Wonpil started talking non sense again. Jae thinks. He chuckled on the question he couldn’t answer.

“Let me see your hand” Jae changes the topic.

 

Wonpil immediately showed the back of his palm then his palm. There is a slight wound on his palm from the struggle and his tight clenching on the knife earlier.

 

“You’re hurt, I need to put a medicine. Can you wait for me in here?” Wonpil nods.

“Sure” He smiled weakly. The taller kissed the back of his head and then he smiled.

 

For hours of not moving his arms, he finally let go of the Wonpil. Jae released their intertwined fingers, leaving a sad sensation to the shorter. His arms felt numb and tired but he doesn’t think about that. All he could think about for now is the wound on Wonpil’s hand. He grabbed the small knife to put it back on the kitchen and walked to where the first aid kit is.

 

///

 

Jae stretched his hand on Wonpil’s face. He looked at Jae.

 

“Let’s go sit on the couch” Wonpil nodded and quickly took Jae’s hand before he could pull him to stand up.

 

They are finally sitting properly, facing each other. Jae started cleaning up his bruise. There’s also a slight wound on his wrist from the attempt to cut himself. He also noticed the reddish color of his arms from the tight embrace. Jae feels sorry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wonpil watched him. He stared at every part of Jae’s face. The new blue hair color, the small yet sparkling eyes that looks extra beautiful today with his serious look. _It’s kinda cute_. The crinkle on his forehead, the bridge of his nose that’s making him look gorgeous and perfect. Wonpil thinks its unfair because Jae looks so beautiful and he got no way to escape from that beauty. Also, there goes the shape of his irresistible lips, its too beautiful that he always wished he could kiss that before he dies.

Now he remembers, he realized he almost killed himself earlier, he is glad that he was not able to do it because if he did then he will never get to see this beauty ever again and even if he never had a chance to kiss him, he is happy now. Jae is by his side right now. Jae is taking care of him **but its not enough reason for him to live.**

His tears welled up again.

Jae delicately put medicine on his hand until he sticks the band aid on his wound.

“It’s done” They stared at each other. Jae smiled at Wonpil.

“Thanks” He smiled back.

He retrieves his hand but Jae won’t let him go.

“Ahmm-“ Jae hesitated to continue.

“Its okay, tell me what you want to say” Wonpil assured him. 

Jae’s eyes wavered, pondering to find the right words. He never tried so hard for people before, he was never this serious for anyone. He was always that cool and funny person who doesn’t usually say anything nice for others so doing this kind of thing, saying kind words doesn’t fit him but he needs to say something, he wants to tell him something but he also doesn’t want to say a wrong word on this fragile man. He sighed before looking at the Wonpil’s eyes again. 

 

“— Can you just hold my hand?—“ Jae quietly said. 

 

Wonpil doesn’t understand what he means but his heart skipped a beat. He looked down, what if he’s misunderstanding the meaning of those words? He likes the way Jae spoke, the kind of tone he only once heard. He likes that Jae wants to hold his hand. He likes everything about him but he feel sorry. **Its not an enough reason for him to live.**

 

“Instead of holding a knife, can’t you just hold my hand when your depression comes around?” Wonpil remained looking down having no reaction in his face. 

 

_Ahhh.. That’s what he means.._

 

He knows this words are only coming out of his mouth out of pity. He is thankful for his concern and he is sorry for showing his worst side but he doesn’t need any of it. **Its not enough reason for wanting to live.**

 

Jae noticed the doubt in Wonpil’s eyes and he hates that. He knew that he always told him, he knew he always shows it, he always try but why? Why can’t he see it? 

 

_Why can’t he see me?_

 

“You know I’m not doing this out of pity, right?” 

 

Silence 

 

“You have always known how much I like you, right?” 

 

Silence 

 

“Piri-yah” Jae begs to at least answer him. 

 

His tears are about to fall again. 

Wonpil’s overwhelmed, he is always amaze on how straightforward Jae is. Even on the first time he confessed. That time when he said ‘I like you’. Jae wasn’t desperate to have him (or that’s what he thought). He was always patient. He waited and waited, he did not look at anyone but him. There are too many people who wants him and still he never changed. It’s been a year now and he knew all of it, he’s sure that he knew all of it but he can’t just completely give his trust to Jae even though he probably likes him more than Jae likes him. **It’s still not enough for him to desire life**.  

Jae looked straight into his eyes, hoping, wishing and praying that everything he says will enter the Wonpil’s heart. That the he will trust him. 

Maybe in his entire life, this is the most desperate of him.

“Wonpil, look at me” Jae said softly, warmly. The sound you can’t decline.

 

And so he did. 

 

He stared at Jae’s loving eyes. The same glitter that he saw from the day Jae confessed but the only difference is the mixed pain on his gaze.

Wonpil’s heart hurts, tears started welling up again.

Jae took a deep breath, holding back his own tears as well.

“You know that everyone knows how much I love you, right? And you know that too, right?” 

Wonpil couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. He feels guilty. He remembered all of their memories together, the way Jae treats him differently from his friends. The way he cares. When he waits for him on their house. When they walk home. The way he laughs. The way he stares a little longer than he should be. The way how their friends tease Jae for being so whipped. He remembers everything but why? Why didn’t he reach out before? Why did he let Jae keep on waiting? And now he is hurting him.

 

“I know” The shorter whispered

 

_But is it enough to be the reason to live?_  

 

His tears fell like waterfall. He loves Jae, he loves him so much. He hugged the taller, crying on his arms. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I’m sorry— I’m sorry— I’m sorry” He repeated the words in between of his sobs.

Jae embraced him tightly, desperately, never wanting to let go, tears falling from his face.

“It’s okay, you’re gonna be okay, trust me” Wonpil nodded, hugging him tighter as they both cry on each other’s arms. 

 

///

 

They stared at each other. Talking in each other’s eyes, holding each other’s hands.

They both smiled.

Jae moved closer and gave him a kiss on the forehead, the shorter closed his eyes. The kiss wasn’t short, it wasn’t long either. He knows now, that Jae was always true to him. He always does. 

Jae’s happy. 

Wonpil looks bright, just like how they first met, it’s that familiar sunshine he remembered. His eyes is still a little puffy and a little red but he looks beautiful, he always do.

 

“Piri-yah”

“Hmm”

“Piri-yah” 

“Why? Why hyung?” The shorter whines

“Can you promise me one thing?”

 

The shorter got terrified, worried, what if it’s something that he can’t keep.

“I know you’re not yet ready to completely give your heart to me but can you please remember that I love you? I love you so—“ Jae wasn’t able to finish his sentence as he felt a pair of lips touched his. It wasn’t that long, it wasn’t that short either. Just a simple and sweet innocent kiss that made both of their hearts flutter.

“I’m sorry, I thought those feelings won’t last. Especially when it’s you” Wonpil sadly stated. And Jae knew what he means.

 

The taller was about to react but the shorter kissed him again.

 

“Thank you for not giving up on me” and he kissed him again.

“I love you too” and he kissed him again. 

“And you’ve always known it, right?” Jae smiled and so Wonpil does, showing his gummy smiles.

 

Jae’s heart skipped a beat and without thinking about anything else, he cupped the shorter’s face and kissed him longer, teeth clattering, tongue touching, desperate to feel each other’s mouth. It felt like they wasted a year, they should’ve done this before, he should’ve kissed him before.

Why was he so afraid?

_Why was I so afraid?_

 

Today was one of his worst days but turned out to be the happiest day of his life. Right, staying by his side is enough. **It’s an enough reason for him to live.**

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, I can't write.. Trust your imaginations..


End file.
